Several years ago, I published this piece in my Legal-Ease column — and recently, a longtime reader told me he had kept a copy for years but had misplaced it. After all this time, the message is still as important as ever. So here it is again, a heartfelt reminder we all need to hear.
As an elder law attorney, I spend most of my time helping people protect their savings from the high cost of nursing home care. I handle documents, restructure finances, retitle assets — all to help clients qualify for Medicaid while preserving what they’ve worked hard for.
But in the shuffle of legal tasks and financial strategy, it’s easy to forget something critical: behind every case file is a person. A person with emotions, memories, fears, and a life story.
That truth hit me squarely when I reread an old piece called “It’s Tough to Be Old.” It originally appeared in Aging Matters, a publication from the Northwestern Area Agency on Aging in Wheeling, West Virginia. The article, written by Aloyse Hahn in 1970, is still deeply moving and honest — and well worth sharing again.
A Voice from the Heart of Aging
“I am 94 years old,” the writer begins. “Six years ago, my family put me in a nursing home, but I don’t know why.”
The piece walks us through the day-to-day experience of an elderly woman in a nursing facility — her confusion, fears, and longing for connection. She doesn’t understand why she can’t just die at home, in her own bed, with her daughter holding her hand. Instead, she’s surrounded by strangers in a world that feels unfamiliar and cold.
She describes moments of clarity mixed with mental slips, how memories of her past overlap with the present, and how misunderstood she often feels. Nurses call her “confused” or “disoriented,” but she’s still there, still feeling, still hoping someone will truly see her.
One nurse does. This nurse holds her hand, speaks gently, and never makes her feel like a burden — even when she has accidents or becomes frustrated. That small kindness, that human connection, makes all the difference.
And in one of the most powerful lines, the woman says, “Someday you’ll be just like me… Will you remember then another little old lady a long time ago who said, ‘How would you like to be me?’”
The Message We All Need to Hear
This article is more than a reflection on aging — it’s a wake-up call for all of us. No matter our age, we all need the same things:
- Security
- Understanding
- Hope
- Respect
- And most of all, Love
The elderly deserve more than just good medical care or legal protection. They deserve dignity. They deserve to be seen, heard, and treated like whole people — because they are whole people, with rich lives behind them and feelings just as deep as anyone else’s.
