When someone loses a spouse, the emotional toll can be overwhelming—and the legal steps that follow often add confusion and stress. Many people simply don’t know what to do next.
That’s why Nancy Mason, a probate legal assistant who works closely with widows and widowers, suggested this article. Using an example, let’s walk through some of the most important steps a person might face—through the story of Mrs. Villers, whose husband recently passed away.
Step 1: Settle the Estate
When someone dies, their estate needs to be legally settled. That means:
- Collecting all assets the person owned
- Paying off any debts they left behind
- Distributing what’s left to the people they wanted to have it
This process is called probate—and in West Virginia, it’s usually pretty simple and often doesn’t even require a lawyer.
Here’s how it works:
Mrs. Villers would take her husband’s Will to the County Clerk’s Office at the courthouse. This step is what we call “probating” the Will—which really just means filing it.
If the Will names her as the executor (or executrix, the female term), she’ll be officially appointed to handle the estate. She’ll then complete a form called the Inventory and Appraisement, which lists everything her husband owned, including joint assets, and their values.
If Mr. Villers owned more than $100,000 in his name alone, the estate will be sent to a Fiduciary Commissioner, a part-time official who helps supervise bigger estates. If not, the County Clerk will oversee the rest.
Creditors are then given 60 days to file any claims against the estate. Once those debts are paid and the assets are passed to the right people, Mrs. Villers can wrap things up with a final report called a Final Settlement or Waiver of Final Settlement.
Step 2: Review Your Own Legal Documents
After the loss of a spouse, it’s smart to review your own paperwork. Mrs. Villers should take a fresh look at her:
- Will
- Durable Power of Attorney
- Medical Power of Attorney
If these were written thoughtfully in the past, they may still be valid. But it’s a good idea to update them if anything has changed—especially now that her husband is no longer around to act as her legal helper.
Step 3: Should You Give Assets to Your Children?
It’s common for people in grief to consider transferring ownership of their home or life savings to their children. But this is a major step—and one that should be approached carefully.
Here’s why Mrs. Villers should wait at least a year:
- It gives her time to heal and think clearly.
- Giving away assets is usually permanent—she can’t take them back.
- If her children go through divorce, bankruptcy, or other trouble, her assets could be at risk.
And there’s more: If she gives away her home or savings and needs to apply for Medicaid within five years (for example, to pay for nursing home care), those gifts might make her ineligible.
Bank accounts are also tricky. If she adds a child’s name, the account may become “joint with right of survivorship,” which means it goes to that child only—no matter what her Will says.
A safer option? Keep the account in her own name and use a Durable Power of Attorney to name someone she trusts to help her manage it if needed.
Step 4: Think Before You Make Big Decisions
In some cases, transferring ownership of assets to children can be helpful—but only as part of a well-planned Medicaid strategy. This depends on the individual situation and should only be done with professional advice.
Final Thoughts
Losing a spouse is deeply painful and confusing. It’s a time for healing, not hasty decisions. Whether it’s settling an estate, updating legal documents, or deciding what to do with your assets, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Get sound legal advice before taking any steps that could affect your future well-being.
Remember, you don’t have to do it all at once—and you don’t have to do it alone.
